133+ Halloween Jokes for Kids (Clean & Funny)

Ghosts jokes

What room does a ghost never need?
A living room.
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
You can see right through them.
What do ghosts call their little mistakes?
Boo-boos.
Where do ghosts drop off their letters?
At the ghost office.
What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.
Why did the ghost join the football team?
The team needed more spirit.
What do you call a ghost's sweetheart?
His ghoul-friend.
How do ghosts stay safe on a car ride?
They buckle their sheet belts.
What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Boo-berries.
Why did the ghost ride the elevator all day?
It was trying to lift its spirits.
What do ghosts wash their hair with?
Sham-boo.
What game do little ghosts play at recess?
Hide-and-shriek.
What do you call a noisy ghost in a chicken coop?
A poultry-geist.
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties.

Skeletons jokes

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to go with.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What instrument does a skeleton play?
The trom-bone.
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why did the skeleton skip his homework?
His heart just wasn't in it.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What do you call a skeleton who won't get out of bed?
Lazy bones.
Why was the skeleton giggling?
Someone tickled his funny bone.
What does a skeleton order at a barbecue?
Spare ribs.
Why couldn't the skeleton play church music?
He had no organs.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
How do skeletons call their friends?
On the tele-bone.

Vampires jokes

What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Why do vampires always seem to have a cold?
They're always coffin.
What do you call a vampire who loves to cook?
Count Spatula.
Where do vampires keep their savings?
In a blood bank.
What kind of dog does a vampire own?
A bloodhound.
Why does a vampire read the newspaper?
He heard it had great circulation.
What do vampires sing at birthday parties?
Fangs for the memories.
What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor?
Vein-illa.
Why are vampires good in art class?
They love to draw blood.
Why don't vampires have many friends?
They can be a pain in the neck.
Which room in the house does a vampire avoid?
The sunroom.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why did the vampire visit the orthodontist?
To improve his bite.
What is a vampire's favorite November holiday?
Fangsgiving.

Witches jokes

Why do witches ride brooms instead of vacuums?
Vacuum cords don't reach the sky.
What do you call two witches who share an apartment?
Broom-mates.
What do witches use to hold their hair in place?
Scare spray.
How does a witch check the time?
With her witch watch.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What do you call a witch at the beach?
A sand-witch.
Why did the witch go see the doctor?
She kept having dizzy spells.
What does a witch order at a hotel?
Broom service.
What is a witch's best subject in school?
Spelling.
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the W.
What do witches ride in a race?
Vroom-sticks.
Where does a witch park her ride?
In the broom closet.
Why did the witch put her broom in the washer?
She wanted a clean sweep.

Monsters jokes

Why did the monster eat a lightbulb?
It wanted a light snack.
What do you call a sea monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster.
What do you call a hairy beast that lives in a river?
A weir-wolf.
Why did the cyclops close his school?
He only had one pupil.
Why did the monster go to the hospital?
To get his ghoul-stones removed.
Why was Frankenstein's monster never lonely?
He was great at making friends.
What is a werewolf's favorite day of the week?
Moon-day.
What is a monster's favorite dessert?
Ice scream.
What kind of monster loves to dance?
The boogie-man.
What does a sea monster eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
Why did the monster knit three socks?
She grew another foot.
What do you call a dinosaur that scares everyone?
A terror-dactyl.
What game do monsters play at parties?
Swallow the leader.

Pumpkins jokes

What do you call a chubby pumpkin?
A plumpkin.
Who helps little pumpkins cross the street?
The crossing gourd.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash.
How do you fix a cracked jack-o'-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why do pumpkins sit on the porch all night?
They have no hands to knock.
Why was the jack-o'-lantern so scared?
It had no guts.
What kind of math do pumpkins like best?
Pumpkin pi.
What did the farmer tell his prize pumpkin?
You look gourd-geous.
What do you call the ruler of the pumpkin patch?
The pump-king.
How do you make a pumpkin smile?
Carve one on.
What does a jack-o'-lantern say when you leave?
Seed you later!
What do pumpkins wear to bed?
Pump-jamas.
Why are jack-o'-lanterns so clever?
They always have a light on upstairs.

Mummies jokes

Why don't mummies ever take vacations?
They're afraid they'll unwind.
What kind of music do mummies like?
Wrap.
Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up.
How do mummies keep a secret?
They keep it under wraps.
What do you call a mummy who eats crackers in bed?
A crummy mummy.
What does a mummy say when the party is over?
Let's wrap it up.
Where do mummies go swimming?
In the Dead Sea.
Why didn't the mummy have many friends?
He was too wrapped up in himself.
How does a mummy begin a letter?
"Tomb it may concern."
If a mummy has a son, what is his dad called?
A daddy.
Why don't mummies need pajamas?
They already sleep in their wraps.
Why are mummies the best gift givers?
They're experts at wrapping.
Why did the hospital hire a mummy?
He had years of experience with bandages.

Bats jokes

What do bats do for fun at night?
Aerobat-ics.
What is a bat's favorite sport?
Bat-minton.
Why did the bat need mouthwash?
It had bat breath.
What do you call a bat in a bell tower?
A dingbat.
How do bats show they like someone?
They bat their eyelashes.
What did one bat say to the other on Friday?
Let's hang out.
What is the first thing little bats learn in school?
The alpha-bat.
What does a bat do when it can't fall asleep?
Counts sheep upside down.
Why did the bat miss the bus?
It spent too long hanging around.
What do bats spread on their toast?
Bat-ter.
What fruit do bats love most?
Bat-nanas.
What did the bat say before its big speech?
I'll just wing it.
Why don't bats need flashlights?
They use their ears to "see" in the dark.

Zombies jokes

Why did the zombie stay home from school?
He felt rotten.
What does a vegetarian zombie say?
"Grrraaaaains!"
How do zombies like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
Why did the zombie get a job at the bakery?
He loved making dead-licious bread.
Why are zombies great at gardening?
They have lots of experience with dirt.
What kind of music do zombies listen to?
Decomposers.
Why are zombies never lonely?
They can always dig up a friend.
What is a zombie's favorite weather forecast?
Cloudy with a chance of brains.
Why do zombies walk so slowly?
They're always dead tired.
What is a zombie's favorite stuffed toy?
A deady bear.
Why are zombies bad at hide-and-seek?
They can't stop groaning.
Why couldn't the zombie pass his driving test?
He kept falling apart.
Why do zombies always finish their homework?
They never miss a dead-line.

Candy jokes

What is a ghost's favorite treat?
Boo-ble gum.
What kind of candy is never on time?
Choco-late.
Why did the jelly bean go to school?
To become a smart bean.
Why doesn't the skeleton eat Halloween candy?
He has no stomach for it.
Why did the candy corn win an award?
It was outstanding in its field.
What candy do vampires love most?
Suckers.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the caramel say to the apple?
Let's stick together.
Why did the kid bring a ladder trick-or-treating?
He heard the candy was on the house.
What is a pirate's favorite Halloween treat?
Chocolate coins, because they look like treasure.
Why was the lollipop great at basketball?
It always made sweet shots.
Where do ghosts shop for candy?
At the boo-tique.
What is a mummy's favorite kind of candy?
Anything that comes in a wrapper.

Halloween jokes for kids

Ghosts jokes

Skeletons jokes

Vampires jokes

Witches jokes

Monsters jokes

Pumpkins jokes

Mummies jokes

Bats jokes

Zombies jokes

Candy jokes

Keep the spooky going